


The Green Twin

by GracielaDolan



Category: Grethan; Dolan Twins
Genre: Angst, Feelings Realization, Jealousy, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:00:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29646123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GracielaDolan/pseuds/GracielaDolan
Summary: Grayson has finally found love...but can Ethan handle it?
Relationships: Ethan Dolan/Grayson Dolan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. The Other E

Ethan’s left hand clenched into an impenetrable fist until his large knuckles were a pale, tense white, and his neatly trimmed nails dug deeply into the flesh of his palm. The man’s raven curls brushed against the underside of Grayson’s chin when both men bent their heads together in laughter, the laugh lines around Grayson’s eyes crinkling in amusement as he continued to wheeze while the man’s booming laugh filled their living room. 

Kristina giggled away, falling back onto the couch she and Ethan had been occupying before Ethan had stepped into the kitchen; thankfully, she was too busy laughing to notice that Ethan was livid, an uncontrollable response to what he was witnessing in this moment. Rather than focusing on Kristina and her beautiful laugh and smile, Ethan’s eyes were helplessly locked onto the connection that was palpable between the other pair in the room. He couldn’t seem to look away from how their knees brushed together, their thighs pressed into each other’s, their fingers constantly touched the other’s hands or arms, and they only had eyes for each other when one wasn’t resting his head against the other’s shoulder or chest. 

Grayson hadn’t stopped smiling, not once this entire evening of what was turning out to be a never-ending introduction to the mystery man he’d been hiding from Ethan and Kristina. And now, seeing them together, watching them interact, feeling the warmth radiating from the two of them, and seeing with his own eyes how deeply this man had ensnared Grayson’s big, sappy heart...Ethan was teetering between being scared shitless and boiling hot rage, and he was barely keeping it together. 

At the moment, there wasn’t even the tiniest part of him that was happy for Grayson and his newfound love, and the scariest part was that Ethan felt completely justified in his reaction, like he couldn’t find a single thing wrong with how angry he felt at having to see Grayson in love with someone. A part of him, somewhere deep down inside, knew how irrational his feelings were, but it was all too easy to keep that reasonable part of him buried deep when he noticed the man lean into Grayson’s neck and gently place a kiss at his earlobe. Ethan watched as Grayson’s body shivered at the man’s lips against his skin, felt like an intruder on an intimate moment, but Ethan couldn’t make himself look away. 

The man’s head began to turn toward Ethan, still standing in the kitchen, and almost caught a glimpse of Ethan’s facial expression, his clenched fist as he watched the pair. Ethan didn’t know how the man would react if he saw him, so Ethan quickly forced himself to hide the fury, resentment, and jealousy that were surely reading on his face. He gave a small smile, which the man returned kindly before turning back to Kris and Gray. This would be so much easier if he were an asshole, thought Ethan, a selfish, clout-seeking jerk trying to take away Grayson, his Grayson, his twin, his best friend, his business partner, his wombmate. But he wasn’t...he was funny and charming, obviously cared for Grayson, and genuinely seemed like a sweet guy. Instead of pleasing him, this only irritated Ethan even more. Like if he wasn’t so upset, he might actually want to be this guy’s friend. Knowing the man was a nice guy suddenly made Ethan feel more than an ounce of guilt at his irrational anger.

Ethan closed the fridge and brought Kris the water she’d asked for, again plastering a lopsided smile onto his bearded face as he rejoined the small group. Facing Grayson now, Ethan took in the pink in his cheeks and the glassiness of his eyes, moist from laughing so much. He watched Grayson’s eyes roam over the man’s face as the man listened to Kristina talking about her hometown in Australia. Grayson looked so hopeful, clearly enamored of the man, that Ethan felt his heart lurch painfully at the sight, and genuinely thought he might cry from the depth of the sadness he felt at watching Grayson watching the man. Grayson suddenly looked at Ethan and gave him a sweet, shy smile at having been caught staring, then focused his attention on Kris as she continued. 

“Oh my gosh, this has been such an amazing time...I’m so glad we could finally meet you,” she shared with sincerity.

“E,” Grayson said, and both Ethan and the man replied, “Yeah?”

Kristina and Grayson laughed together, and so did the man, though a little shyly. But Ethan felt his heart break just a fraction more. 

“Sorry, Ethan, I was talking to Emilio - let me show you our back yard, babe,” Grayson stated warmly.

“Of course, mi amor,” the man said, getting up after Grayson and clasping his outstretched hand.

“Ughhh, he’s adorable,” Kristina exclaimed when Grayson and Emilio were out of earshot. She couldn’t take her eyes off of them either. “Alright, I’m gonna go pick up dessert,” Kristina said, pecking Ethan on the cheek and darting out the door, the keys to Smooth Cat jingling in her hand.

Ethan hadn’t moved an inch, still stunned by his grief at seemingly being replaced by the other man who Grayson called “E,” Emilio. He rubbed his hands on his sweats over and over, totally unsure of what to do with himself. Without meaning to, he peered into the backyard, wondering what Grayson was showing Emilio. At the sight of Grayson and Emilio wrapped in each other’s arms engaging in a deep and passionate kiss, Ethan felt his body go hot and cold at once. He wanted to explode and curl into a ball and cry in the same moment, his emotions spinning wildly out of control. 

Not knowing what to do with this inner chaos, but wanting very much to somehow avoid making a fool of himself, Ethan got up quickly, headed toward the front door, and stepped out into the warm air of their neighborhood. He began to walk briskly, hoping to escape his very fucked up thoughts, knowing in his heart the improbability of that hope becoming a reality.


	2. Mind Blown

Ethan stretched his legs more than necessary against the incline of the neighborhood sidewalk, enjoying the slight burn of the climb in his legs. He breathed the mild air into his lungs as deeply as possible and attempted to force himself to focus. Ethan had to understand his feelings before he returned to the house because he knew that if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to mask his turmoil any longer. 

His thoughts wandered as he walked and grappled with putting words to his confusing emotions. Unrequested, the kiss he’d spied between Grayson and Emilio flashed before his wyes, accompanied by discomfort in his stomach and chest at the memory. Ethan felt this was as good a place to start as any, specifically, what was it about catching them in a kiss that bothered him so much. Not to mention that Grayson had seen him and Kris kiss every day since her arrival all those months ago, yet hadn’t shown any issue with their PDA. Ethan’s worry increased at the realization of his own perceived hypocrisy. What a dick! Who has a significant other and then gets jealous of their twin for going out and doing the same? But was it really jealousy?

In part, yes. Ethan felt jealous that Emilio was suddenly “E,” and the new heir to Grayson’s loving heart and affection. But so what? Why should that matter to Ethan when he has someone and he wanted Grayson to have someone to make him happy, too? 

...Right?...

Deep down, Ethan knew there was something about that which was supposed to be true, but definitely was not, and he knew it in his heart of hearts. Deep down, he realized that he was nothing short of pridefully ecstatic to forever hold the knowledge that since they were tiny, he was the one who could and would and should claim ownership to Grayson’s heart; that there is no one like him in the universe, and no one but him who might ever find themselves as close to Grayson as Ethan did. 

Suddenly, this truth became fiction, and he hadn’t spent any time preparing for this change due to Grayson’s unluckiness in love. Now, he not only berated himself for failing to prepare (and maybe prevent) this event, but wondered how Grayson ever handled this change when Ethan and Kristina had become Ethan and Kristina. If it had been him in Grayson’s shows almost two years ago, or even now having to freaking live with a twin and their gf...Ethan was man enough to admit it couldn’t have been him, and this made him appreciate Grayson all the more in that moment.

These revelations did nothing to ease Ethan’s strained mind. On the contrary, his mind was kind of blown at realizing part of his truth, and that was just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. If he were really, really, really being real with himself, it was more than the twin bond that was disrupted when he caught Grayson in a kiss...he was bothered to this extent because on some level, some part of his psyche genuinely wished that Grayson was kissing him.

“Whoa, what the fuck?” Ethan said to literally no one. 

He looked around and realized he was at least two miles from the house despite the impending darkness. The surprise realization of his surroundings didn’t remove from his mind the glaring truth about his attraction to his own twin. And what was he supposed to do with this information now that he knew it was true? Nothing in the world would ever make him act on it, and besides, he wasn’t used to pursuing one-sided relationships, knowing that Grayson would never, ever see Ethan that way whether he was in a relationship or not.

“Uggggghhhhhh...” Ethan groaned, sitting on a curb. This was turning out to be a royally fucked up evening.

He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands, hoping that he was somehow opening himself up to receive some much-needed guidance from the universe.

His mind slowly stopped racing and began to move in a linear fashion. Ethan knew he loved Grayson more than anyone, and he always would. He also knew wishing for anything more than a brotherhood between them was as asinine. Therefore, what was the best way to show his love for Grayson? Accepting things as they were and being the best brother and best friend he could be until the day they decided to eat the fucking berries and die together. Period. 

Whatever this attraction was, Ethan knew then and there that he has to set it aside because Grayson deserved his best, and the best he could give Grayson was a full life with someone who loved him, absent of Ethan being in the way as a lifelong distraction. 

Deciding it, Ethan could do. Doing it...well, Ethan was just going to have to take that part a step at a time, or at least that’s what he told himself as he got up to head back home. He knew the path before him, the one that would lead to Grayson’s happiness, was a rough one for him, but so worth it if he could experience Grayson truly being happy and feeling genuinely loved.

It amazed him to come to some sense of peace after the emotionally stressful day. Ethan hoped he wasn’t just fooling himself in this, but it wouldn’t be the first time.

As he got closer to the gate, he realized that Smooth Cat was running and wondered why. He slowed his walk and peered around the gate, expecting to find Kristina digging in the backseat or something and wanting to scare her playfully. He ignored the fact that not a lot of his thinking just now had involved her, refusing to let go of his inner peace just yet. Instead of her sticking out of the backseat, he saw her still perched in the driver’s seat taking pictures of herself on her phone. That was weird, and not something he often saw her do as she was very much in line with their extended break from the toxicity of social media. They kept their private accounts between one another and their friends, but the days of over sharing were over, much to their fans’ dismay.

As he kept looking, he noticed that Kristina was not just taking a selfie; she was sending a snap to someone. Who could she be talking to and why did he feel an itch if suspicion buzzing around his brain right now? He trusted this girl with everything and hadn’t doubted her since...well, for a long time now. But he couldn’t ignore the itch.

He crouched down and crept along the drivers side of the Tesla, then jumped up at Kristina with a yell, “Raaahhh!!!!”

“Aaaaah!!! Oh my God, Ethan, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Kristina replied with mild anger and clear embarrassment. 

Ethan didn’t think he’d ever seen her so red. 

“And what, may I ask, are you doing sitting out here all alone in Smooth Cat,” he asked. 

“I was...” she began. For some reason, she was avoiding his eyes. “Nothing, I was just taking my time,” she finally finished.

“Ok, and who were you snapchatting?” Ethan pressed. He refused to cross his arms, though he could feel himself becoming increasingly defensive about her reaction and body language.

“I’m not on snap, Ethan, you know that,” Kristina replied looking into the mirror to rub her hands over her hair.

Ethan stared at her in silence. She was clearly being untruthful. If what he’d seen with his own two eyes wasn’t enough, now her reaction was giving her away. Why would she lie and lie about this of all things? Ethan couldn’t help but wonder. What was he supposed to do? Should he make a scene? Kick her out? Press the issue calmly? 

In the end, Ethan did nothing.

“Okay,” he said simply, and politely opened her door. She stared while he collected the vegan desserts, then they walked toward the house together, arms close, but avoiding touching.


	3. Comforter

With an old Tame Impala song setting a nostalgic mood, the kitchen smelling sweet and cinnamon-y from the pancakes he was flipping, and the sun illuminating another amazing California day outside, Grayson couldn’t help but allow how great he was feeling on the inside to shine through in his dimply lopsided grin on the outside. His tank top was clinging to the wide expanse of his chest, showing off the nearly-finished tat sleeve on his left arm, and revealing the bulging muscles and bare skin of his right. His floppy hair was held back by a soft headband that had helpfully soaked up his sweat during his morning workout with Mando before Mando had headed back to his apartment to get ready for a photography session with a client. 

Grayson didn’t know what everyone was up to in the house or whether they’d want breakfast, so he made a big batch and sat at the counter. In the past, he’d readily jump on his phone or laptop to keep him company while he ate, but he was honestly enjoying the absence of so much stress caused by social media with the break they were on from it. As he ate, he simply sat, listening to the music, noticing a bird outside, watching their rapidly-growing puppy chew on a toy in her lounger, and when an idea came to him, he wrote it down in the journal Ethan had gifted him. Grayson realized it had been a long time since he had been able to be this attuned to his own thoughts and feelings without distraction, and he felt like he was personally thriving. Motivation to continue this routine was at an all-time high.

He thought about how quickly things had changed and why, and his thoughts drifted to Emilio. He smiled thinking of him because he was such a bright spot in his life, and absolutely hot as hell. A line came to him that he had to jot down as he pictured Emilio’s lips, remembered the feel of them against his. Right in the middle of writing, he felt a large, warm hand run over the back of his head, the fingers barely touching the back of his neck, accompanied by a deep and raspy, “Hey.”

He looked up at his shirtless twin and noticed his hair was wet. Grayson ignored the pang in his stomach at the thought of another Ethan-and-Kris-morning-shower-fuck invading his mind before he remembered that she had left the house in Smooth Cat super early. Geez, when was he going to get over their relationship, ffs? Before he could go too far off in his mind at his annoyance with himself, he looked up from Ethan’s torso to stare into eyes identical to his own. 

“Good morning, bro...want coffee?” he started to get up to get Ethan a cup, but noticed he seemed a little...sad? Gloomy? Grayson didn’t want to guess incorrectly. “How are you feeling?” he asked as a follow-up.

“Dude...” Ethan began, and just the tone of that one word had Grayson stepping toward him in concern. Grayson placed a hand on Ethan’s shoulder, determined to lend him whatever strength or support he needed because that “dude” had been laced with fear and uncertainty. Grayson stood there, solid, present, waiting, refusing to interrupt as he watched Ethan struggle to say what he needed to say. They had been going to therapy, separately and together, and they were really getting better at conversing without interrupting, and really hearing each other.

“Gray, I — I think Kristina is cheating on me,” Ethan said. His voice was super low by the time he’d finished the enormous and difficult sentence. Ethan gazed into Grayson’s eyes and clearly didn’t know what else to say. Grayson saw the hurt at the possible betrayal, the uncertainty as to whether he was correct in his suspicions, the fear that was inevitably connected to others finding out, like the whole fucking world finding out, and Grayson couldn’t do anything except wrap Ethan in his arms in that moment. This was the best and worst part of being a twin: feeling each other’s pain. It meant never being completely alone, but also experiencing the shittiest parts of your life times two. 

Ethan hugged him back tightly, and Grayson was so happy that they’d gotten better at being affectionate with each other again, too. He held him and tried to show him that he had him, no matter what the outcome of this would be. Grayson wasn’t going anywhere. Grayson waited to feel the wetness of Ethan’s tears, but they never came. He guessed Ethan was in shock because Grayson knew how much Ethan loved this girl. 

It had taken Grayson a long ass time to accept that he’d lost his soulmate to someone else right before his eyes, but he’d done it, and now she had the fucking audacity to do this to him? Grayson should have known, should have suspected, because while they were taking a break from social media, she was posting more of herself, especially in their house or with her friends in their house, becoming more popular simply for knowing them/being Ethan’s girlfriend, and something about her behavior didn’t sit exactly right with Grayson. But he had gotten so good at forcing himself to accept her for Ethan’s sake that he had become blind to his responsibility to still watch Ethan’s back. 

Now Grayson was angry, but he swallowed the rage that hadn’t reared its ugly head in a while, and chose to be what Ethan needed in that moment - his best friend and brother.

“Ethan, are you sure? What can I do, bro? I’m so sorry...” Grayson said, his lips moving against the spot between Ethan’s ear and neck as he spoke, trying to remain calm.

“Gray, I need to know if it’s true. Will you help me?” Ethan asked, stepping back to look Grayson in the eyes again, one hand grabbing his arm, the other holding tightly to the back of his neck. Grayson felt the intensity radiating off of his brother.

“Of course, dude. But think this through. What happens if you go looking and it isn’t true? How will that affect your relationship? If it is true, what will you do, Ethan? Have you thought about how this ends?” Grayson finished.

Ethan moved his hands from Grayson’s body to his own waist and stared contemplatively out of their patio windows. Grayson realized that Ethan had been standing like this since he was little, and the memories tugged on his heart in that moment. He reached out to rub little circles on Ethan’s back. He couldn’t help it; the pull to comfort him was so strong. Ethan turned his head to stare at Grayson again, actually smiled as he stepped closer to him, and said, “I’m so glad I have you, Gray...I love you.”

Grayson found himself in another Ethan hug, and although he calmly squeezed him back, his mind was racing. Ethan had no idea how hard Grayson had fought himself to get to a place where he could be normal around Ethan instead of the constant awkwardness that stemmed from his extremely complicated and somewhat fucked up feelings toward him. And now Ethan was here in his space, clinging to him, relying on him, and saying he loves him after gazing into his eyes. Shit. This carefully-crafted delusion that Grayson had created around his own heart was suddenly about to crumble to pieces because clearly his feelings for Ethan had gone absolutely nowhere, even with Emilio in the picture.

“Ethan, I love you too, man...and I’m here to help with whatever you need, bro,” Grayson whispered. 

“Thanks, man,” Ethan said, and kissed Grayson’s cheek as he pulled away. “I think some pancakes will make me feel a little better, and then we can work through some of the really good questions you just asked me. Sound good?”

Grayson knew he looked like an idiot standing there touching the cheek that Ethan had just kissed, but again, he couldn’t help it. It had been so long since...

“Gray?” Ethan said.

Snap out of it, he told himself. “Yeah dude, let me make your coffee,” he said, and began moving around the kitchen. When Ethan was all set up and digging into his breakfast, Grayson returned to the seat beside him at the counter and looked down at the line he’d been writing.

Their softness, the heat they bring  
again and again  
I could never get enough   
of your lips pressed against me

Grayson shut his journal, wondering who he meant these words for after the turn this morning had taken. He looked over at Ethan and gulped nervously as he tried not to fall back into the habit of watching him in fascination. His thoughts were once again interrupted by Ethan’s voice.

“Alright, so here’s what I was thinking...”


End file.
